Boxed In

BOXED IN...
Boxes can be great fun! I loved playing in them when I was little. The big ones became a house, or a spaceship, or a machine, or even a hiding place. I would giggle as I ka-thunked around the yard in them instead of rolling smoothly.

Boxes also carry gifts. Oh... the anticipation of opening a box that comes in the mail! Even if it’s something I ordered, it’s still a joy to rip into it. (Maybe that comes from getting “care packages” from people when I lived overseas?) Or, the pleasure of picking the right wrapping paper to cover the box to give it to someone for that next special occasion. Or, the joy of receiving something I secretly (or not so secretly) wished for.

But, boxes can also be very confining... They keep me locked up, wishing I could kick the walls out. It can get hot and lonely. They don’t allow much movement in any direction.

Being unemployed is confining. I’m BOXED IN. There is time to do things, but no money to pay for them. It’s challenged me to try new things and new ideas to escape, as well as the old standbys... but still no job. It forces me to ask questions and think about things I don’t want to deal with.

BUT how will things be different once I’ve escaped the box? Will I look back and see all the gifts I’ve received during this time? Will I see how much fun I had? Will I be glad I was boxed in because I was protected in some way? We will see!

...OR NOT?

This layout was created in 09/06. It was the first scrapbook page I ever did.

Since that time... I'm still unemployed, although I have had temporary work coming in the last few months. It can still be a painful process, but my whole outlook has changed. How does one explain something that can't be explained, and makes no sense? :-)

How do I explain that God is my provider? He has been with me through it all. I've often said through the years that God provides for me (a good, Christian thing to say), but did I really know or understand what that meant? Did I ever have backup plans or other options if for some reason He didn't provide? Did I ever stand on His truth even as bills piled up?

This last year I have begun to understand it more. I've had no backup plans. It's not that I'm lazy or don't like to work. As a matter of fact, it's quite the opposite of that. Much of my identity has been in my work, my abilities and skills. I have high standards for myself and pride myself in doing good work and maintaining a professional attitude.

But, I couldn't find work. I looked diligently for months on end, applying to places, going on interviews, and following up. Nothing worked out.

We come to today. I stand on the truth of His promise to provide even though I am behind in my bills at the moment. I choose to believe that He in not a liar. I choose to believe that He will eventually break through and take care of all my needs. I have seen Him do it over and over and over, and He won't stop now.

So, I'm not out of the box yet... but I do see gifts that have come from it and how I've been protected through it all.

He is truth. He doesn't lie. End of story. :-)