Friday, July 20, 2007

Out of the Frying Pan




Out of the Frying Pan & Into the Fire

It's so hot.

Hard times... Yet I have someone with me as I walk through the fire.


For almost 1 1/2 years now, I've been in the fire. The heat lets up once in a while for a short stretch of time, but then it comes back hotter than before. There are many things I don't understand, but I know I'm getting "refined" as I go through the process. I do wonder, though, how much longer it will be before there is a break through.

I've reacted so many ways to the fire. I've fought against it. I've been passive, or furious, or both at the same time. I've screamed and yelled and cried, or sulked and pouted and refused to say anything. I've complained and questioned everything. I've tried to pretend it doesn't burn, that it's not affecting me. I've wanted to take the easy way many times - just jump out and run away. Nothing I do or don't do has changed the process.

But I've had someone walk through it with me. He helps me keep my heart soft, and not get hardened and brittle in the heat of the battle. He tells me it won't go on forever. He says He sees much more of His reflection in me as He refines me like gold. He asks me to give Him my pain and let Him carry it. He tells me to keep trusting Him (and not take the easy way) even when the pain is agonizing. He tells me He is just answering my prayers of many years. In spite of the pain I believe Him. I wish there were a different or easier way, but the personal growth in my life is amazing.

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